New Year’s Day, 2011. My roommate and I decide to have breakfast at a renowned pancake house nearby. As it seems, we aren’t the only ones with the same idea, since there’s quite the waiting list. Still, after about fifteen minutes we’re hurriedly escorted to our table. A runner/busboy brings us the ubiquitous glasses of water and asks us if we would like anything else to drink. Having powered through God knows how many glasses of Jack Daniel’s the night before, I respond simply with “A large orange juice, please.”
A perplexed look crosses his face. “…Iced tea?”
"No, a large orange juice."
Still more confusion. “I…I go get somebody.”
What? What the hell just happened? Was a large glass of orange juice unheard of at a pancake house? I look at my roommate and mouth the words “Dude, what the fuck?” In the minute or two he was gone, my confusion over this language barrier shifted into anger. Not only does “large orange juice” not sound anything like “iced tea”, but he needed to facilitate a translator? Outrage! Outrage, I say!
He returns, with someone who allegedly knows the Queen’s language better than himself. “What you like?” he asks, in his near broken English.
I need to make a point here to say that when I’m upset, I have a tendency to speak slowly and over enunciate myself. I repeat my order, trying my best not to look like I’m patronizing someone with whom English is clearly their second language. “Large. Orange. Juice.” (In retrospect, I may have come off like one of those assholes that says stuff like teh-lay-fone-oh anyway.)
A brief pause. Brief enough for the words ’Christ, not again’ to cross my mind. “Oh. Oh, orange juice!” Finally. A breakthrough. He starts to shuffle off before my roommate has a chance to even order HIS glass of orange juice. We quickly flag him down and get that order in.
At this point, I’m rubbing my throbbing temple. My roommate can clearly see how upset I am, and I break the silence with the words that may define the rest of the year for me:
Fuck it. I can’t deal with this shit right now.
Hopefully, this won’t be the case, but this early on in the game its anybody’s call. I’m considering turning that into a t-shirt.